Calling occupants of interplanetary, most extraordinary craft . . .

I am so glad this guy's political star set almost 40 years ago.

A former Canadian Minister of Defence and Deputy Prime Minister under Pierre Trudeau has joined forces with three Non-governmental organizations to ask the Parliament of Canada to hold public hearings on Exopolitics -- relations with "ETs."

By "ETs," Mr. [Paul] Hellyer and these organizations mean ethical, advanced extraterrestrial civilizations that may now be visiting Earth. . . .

Mr. Hellyer went on to say, "I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something."

Well, if by "consequences" he means bug-eyed monsters eating his brains, in his case, they might go away hungry.

And who, do you suppose, is the biggest threat to global security? Who do you think?

Hellyer warned, "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning. He stated, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide."

The article goes on to detail Canada's quite reasonable opposition to space-based weaponry, but then takes a final turn for the batty when it concludes:

"Time is on the side of open disclosure that there are ethical Extraterrestrial civilizations visiting Earth," The [sic] spokesperson [for a relateed NGO] stated. "Our Canadian government needs to openly address these important issues of the possible deployment of weapons in outer war plans against ethical ET societies."

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I am really curious about the basis for this "spokesperson's" assumption that "ET societies" would be "ethical." How does he know this? Does he simply assume, in naïve Gene Roddenberry fashion, that more advanced civilizations would be pacifistic? If 20th-century history has taught us anything, it is that human beings with superior technology simply become better-armed barbarians. Assuming these societies even exist (an assumption for which there is precisely zero evidence), how does he know that their advanced technology won't simply make it easier for them to swoop down, probe our orifices before sucking our brains, stealing all our fresh water, levelling Tokyo, and finally using the entire planet in a giant game of planetary snooker?

Paul Hellyer is awarded today's DIM BULB du jour, with special Black Helicopter Cluster, for moonbattery above and beyond the call of duty.

I, for one, welcome our new extraterrestrial overlords.