November 25, 2004

Weird search engine queries

Every couple of days, I like to browse my referral logs to find out how people arrive at the Crusty Curmudgeon. Of particular interest are the search engines. For the last couple of months, the search queries that point people at me have been fairly tame. But in the last few days, I've seen some real interesting ones. A sampling:

  • naked bull riding: You're definitely asking the wrong person.
  • bible 1611 "michael jackson": Can you see the connection? No, me neither.
  • correct spelling savior or saviour: Well, I say "saviour," but only because I'm Canadian and I'm cheering for my side. (Actually, as silly as this question might be, it's a bit of a cheat for me to post this one, as I have in fact blogged on this very subject.)
  • how to make good websites about planets to make mr provan happy: Since apparently I am the 6th most relevant authority on this vital subject, you can well imagine the ethical burden I carry to convey accurate information about this task. Here are a few sure-fire pointers.
    • White text on a black background always looks edgy.
    • Use lots and lots of CAPITALIZATION to convey EMPHASIS and EMOTONAL CONTENT.
    • Accessibility is an ISSUE. Make your font nice and big for readability.
    • Make copious use of the <BLINK> tag, quite possibly the GREATEST contribution Netscape EVER made to the information superhighway.
    • One exclamation point makes your text dynamic and EXCITING! Naturally, SIX of them is SIX TIMES BETTER!!!1!!

Also, use pictures of planets.

It's also worth noting that at the time of writing, Google searches on the word "crusty" rank this site fourth. That's a distinction of some kind, I'm sure.