June 13, 2005

And so the sideshow ends

Freak Bankrupt has-been Failed plastic surgery patient with a butt for a chinPop singer Michael Jackson has been declared not guilty on all ten counts related to child-molestation charges.

Meanwhile, I have had CNN on in the background for the last five hours, and not once have I heard any non-Jackson-related news. Not from Larry King, not from Aaron Brown, not from Paula Zahn.

Osama bin Ladin could blow his brains out live on al-Jazeera, Manhattan could sink into the Hudson, and an angel could take a stroll down the Via Dolorosa with a flaming sword. It all takes second fiddle to the almighty Michael J.

Meanwhile, the never-ending parade of relatives, jurists, friends, and "spiritual advisors" remind us ad nauseam that sharing a bed with little boys is not illegal, especially if you are an emotionally unstable kook with loads of money and buttloads of adoring fans. (It is, however, inappropriate behaviour. Now, after the media circus is over, they figure this out. You gotta laugh.)

In the meantime, I guess I'll have to listen to Thriller, and remember that there was once a time when Michael Jackson had human DNA and a shred of talent, and did nothing weirder than chumming around with a chimp and Emmanuel Lewis.