September 28, 2004

Pilgrims, mark this site down

Flocks of the faithful are flocking to the Eagle Pass Police Department to see a mysterious statue of Christ. Police say the statue of Jesus just came floating down the Rio Grande. The statue is now in the department's evidence room. . . .

Many in the border town's Catholic community have made the trip to see the crucified Christ lacking the cross propped against two doors in the entryway of the evidence room. About 200 pilgrims a week are now coming to the police department to see the mysterious statue. . . .

Because no one has come forward to claim it and because of its mysterious discovery in the river, the Catholic faithful have embraced the statue as a religious message from God.

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This makes perfect sense. After all, when an unclaimed, life-size article of fibreglass religious kitsch is found in the river, there's no other possible explanation, and hence no alternative but to make a shrine out of it.