August 10, 2005

Fundamentalist atheists are not the intellectual giants of the universe

Undeniable truth: There is nothing more useless than teats on a bull, the opinion of a teenager, or the intellect of a Fundamentalist Atheist.

On a Christian forum I frequent, a former fundamentalist who "de-converted" to atheism about two years ago (give or take) has actually issued the following challenge, and God help me, I think he meant it:

I will post everyday for "god" to strike me down by lightning. What luck, it's raining and there are thunderstorms in the area.

Guess "god" isn't in the evidence business anymore since we can prove his "miracles" by science these days.

It's okay, keep telling yourself he's long suffering and is not to be tempted.

Come on, I know that you secretly want him to do it....

Gawd, where are you at? So far, he hasn't checked in yet, but look at the forum tomorrow to see if he's proved himself.

I suppose we could call this rock-solid proof of the non-existence of God the "Proof by Unreasonable Demand." I'm convinced it is irrefutable, and to prove it, I intend to send the following letter:

The Honorable George W. Bush
President of the United States
The White House
Washington, DC 20500

Dear sir:

I respectfully request that you provide proof of your existence at your earliest convenience.

Please send me an autographed photo of yourself as follows: You are wearing a chicken outfit. In your left hand, you hold a sign that reads "Hillary/Franken '08"; with your right, you shake hands with an actress impersonating Lucille Ball.

Failure to follow these instructions to the letter within 48 hours of receipt will is prima facie evidence that you do not, in fact, exist. Therefore, for your own sake, your prompt attention to this letter is appreciated.

Yours very truly,

Scott McClare

Think I'll get the response I demand? In my dreams.

The aforementioned Born Again Atheist later admitted that being struck by lightning "has been known to happen in nature." In other words, not only was the challenge unreasonable, but it was issued in bad faith since he could always pull out the "natural causes" excuse.

There's a reason God calls atheists "fools" (Psa. 14:1). How can we take them seriously?