And now . . . this - Jul 5/15

Hold muh beer an' watch this, part 6.022×10²³

Staples placed a fireworks mortar tube on his head and set it off, injuring his head. He died instantly. . . .

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Dear friends, we are gathered here today to mourn the death not only of our friend Devon Staples, but of common sense and sound judgment.

Police say the friends had been drinking.

You don't say.

Meanwhile, in Texas . . .

"Only he didn't say 'Blank' . . ."

A man who apparently mocked alligators, then jumped in the water—despite warning signs—is dead after being attacked in Texas. . . .

"He removed his shirt, removed his billfold . . . someone shouted a warning and he said 'blank the alligators' and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help," Price said.

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Do not mock the alligators. They will blank you over but good.