February 02, 2009

Way to go, Willie

It's official: six more weeks of winter. Canada's official prognosticating groundhog, Wiarton Willie, has spoken.

I'm sitting in my lovely basement rooms, and I'm in perpetual twilight because my windows are half-buried under three feet of snow. Is winter going to last another 6 weeks? You bet. That's how long it's going to take just for the snow to melt. I can figure that out myself without the help of a stupid gopher, thankyouverymuch.

The main problem with Willie's prediction, however, is that it fails to account for the visit to Canada by Barack Obama in two weeks. In the frozen wasteland of Canada, it is always winter and never Christmas. But Obama is on the move - perhaps has already landed. He's the King. He's the Lord of the whole country, but not often here, you understand. But the word has reached us that he has come back. He is in Canada at this moment. He'll settle Wiarton Willie all right. Maybe he'll bring his unicorns.