And now . . . this - May 7, 2007

Tim Hortons is working for the Russkies!

A tale of paranoia run amok. Someday we'll look back at this and laugh.

Ah, heck, why wait?

An odd-looking Canadian quarter with a bright red flower was the culprit behind a false espionage warning from the U.S. Defense Department about mysterious coins with radio frequency transmitters, The Associated Press has learned.

The harmless "poppy quarter" was so unfamiliar to suspicious U.S. army contractors travelling in Canada that they filed confidential espionage accounts about them. The worried contractors described the coins as "filled with something man-made that looked like nano-technology," according to once-classified U.S. government reports and e-mails obtained by the AP.

The silver-coloured 25-cent piece features the red image of a poppy, Canada's flower of remembrance, inlaid over a maple leaf. The unorthodox quarter is identical to the coins pictured and described as suspicious in the contractors' accounts.

[Full Story]

Back in 2004, Tim Hortons outlets had the exclusive right to distribute these commemorative coins. Does this mean Canada's favourite donut chain is working to subvert American interests?

I just looked, and I've got two poppy quarters in my desk drawer. Hoo boy, I've got to be careful what I say now. And what about that pink-ribbon breast-cancer quarter from last year? Is it sending pictures of my decidedly untidy bedroom to CSIS?

Did it occur to these American contractors to just check with the mint, rather than subject their quarters to a battery of ridiculous tests? Nanotechnology indeed.

Meanwhile, in other coin news:

I'll have one $1,000,000 with pepperoni and extra cheese

Today's dubious achievement: Canada has minted the world's largest coin:

Got change for a million? Canada does: the world's biggest pure gold coin at 200 pounds.

Already, three buyers have shelled out for one of the 1 million Canadian dollar coins introduced last week.

The Royal Canadian mint made the coins, 20 inches in diameter and 1 inch thick , mostly to seize the bragging rights from Austria, which had the record with a 70-pound, 15-inch wide coin.

"They're not doing this because there is huge demand for 100-kilo gold coins," Bret Evans, editor of Canadian Coin News said Saturday. "They're doing it because it gives them some bragging rights in having the largest purest gold coin in the world."

[Full Story]

By my calculations, based on today's price of gold, the actual value of this "one million dollar" coin is actually $2,435,740.56 CDN. And you thought pennies were expensive to mint . . .

The problem with Jerry Falwell is . . .

. . . he can say pretty much whatever the heck he wants. All I ever hear anymore is:

Blah blah blah Tinky Winky is gay blah blah blah 9/11 is the lesbians' fault blah blah blah.

Not only has Jerry shot his bolt, credibility-wise, he's pretty much out of ammo at this point.

What arewere they thinking?

The way news travels through the blogosphere, this issue was basically resolved before I had a chance to finish my post. Nonetheless: Someone at Virgin Airlines had decided it might be a good idea to provide the 9/11 crockumentary Loose Change as in-flight entertainment.

Meanwhile, thanks to the threat of a major PR meltdown, it looks like the Virgin people have changed their minds:

We don’t show movies or documentaries that cause mass offence and there is a danger with this movie that viewers, although they have the choice over what to watch and when on our flights, may be offended.

Oh, gee, you think?

It only raises the question: What drunken, incompetent marketroid thought it might be a good idea to offer Loose Change in the first place?

• Of course, Loose Change is a low-budget, intellectually dishonest fallacy-fest that makes a complete mockery of the very idea of critical thinking. As such it's hardly worthy of being disseminated any further.
• I thought it was generally airline policy to avoid showing films featuring air disasters. Why would they offer a film about the hijacking and deliberate destruction of four passenger jets? Did Virgin Atlantic learn absolutely nothing when ridership plummeted after 9/11?
• I wonder how the good people in Virgin's legal department would feel if American or United Airlines showed an infight movie implying they were complicit in mass murder?

I'm glad that the powers that be at Virgin Atlantic have changed their mind about this stupid decision. But they've earned themselves a DIM BULB du jour for having this ridiculous brain cramp to begin with.

(H/T: Screw Loose Change and Hot Air.)

And now . . . this - May 3, 2007

So much for this year's Sasquatch BBQ

Bigfoot, the legendary hairy man-like beast said to roam the wildernesses of North America, is not shy, merely so rare it risks extinction and should be protected as an endangered species.

So says Canadian MP Mike Lake who has called for Bigfoot to be protected under Canada's species at risk act, alongside Whooping Cranes, Blue Whales, and Red Mulberry trees.

"The debate over their (Bigfoot's) existence is moot in the circumstance of their tenuous hold on merely existing," reads a petition presented by Lake to parliament in March and due to be discussed next week.

"Therefore, the petitioners request the House of Commons to establish immediate, comprehensive legislation to affect immediate protection of Bigfoot," says the petition signed by almost 500 of Lake's constituents in Edmonton, Alberta.

[Full Story]

Prior to now, I always thought that establishing the existence of something was kind of a rerequisite to trying to legislate it. Apparently, I'm just stupid.

While he's at it, maybe Lake and Paul Hellyer can get together and pass a law banning extraterrestrials from mutilating cattle.