August 01, 2006

Whole lotta stupid goin on

Those of you who follow political blogs like Little Green Footballs or Free Republic might recall a story that made the rounds a few weeks ago from Democratic Underground (aka Moonbat Central). In one hysterical thread, a poster calling himself "spooked911" did a "science" "experiment" in which he constructed a "skyscraper" out of rabbit wire and some cement blocks, then set fire to some kerosene inside it. When it didn't collapse, Spooky claimed this "proved" that the Twin Towers could not have been brought down by an airplane crash and burning jet fuel.

In other news, I recently filled a Coke can with fuel and lit it on fire. Since it failed to launch into orbit, I have proven that rocketry is impossible, and therefore the moon landings were a hoax.

In a surprising moment of mental clarity (surprising for DU, at least), a number of posters remarked that a bit of wire mesh, some pavers, and a cup of of camp fuel is not a remarkably realistic model of the World Trade Center, as it models neither the shape and size of the buildings, the type of structural steel used, the confined space in which the fire raged, the amount and type of combustible material, available oxygen, nor the impact of an airplane strike. It is unclear what his foot is meant to simulate in this experiment. (The subsequent attack by Godzilla that the mainstream media didn't report?) The response from the more gullible DUmmies was predictable, ranging from "Oh yeah? Well why don't you try to prove the official story then?" which is beside the point, to "Hey, at least he's to be commended for trying something," even if that something is completely irrelevant to Objective Reality™.

It turns out, however, that spooked has his own blog: Humint Events Online, where he has been using "science" to "debunk" the official 9/11 explanation since 2004. Much hilarity ensues as Spooky tells us The Truth About 9/11, including:

  • No one with as little training as the supposed hijackers could have successfully crashed a large jet into one of the WTC towers. Proof: Open up Microsoft Flight Simulator, and try to do it yourself without having ever done so before. (As it happens, on my very first use of FlightSim, back in 1989, I accidentally crashed into one of the towers while trying to fly around it. Therefore, I have irrefutably proved that it is impossible to miss them.)
  • No planes actually hit the Twin Towers; they were, in fact, a "USAF cruise missile cloaked with a holographic skin." (I'm sure the plane-shaped holes the holograms poked in the WTC were holograms too.)
  • Discrepancies in the apparent angle of the alleged planes striking the towers proves that the footage was faked with CGI (since, of course, video cameras only work in a world where parallax doesn't exist).
  • Screenshots made with Flight Simulator prove that "live" video footage shown on network television on Sept. 11, 2001, was fake. (FlightSim truly is a remarkable piece of software: its rendering engine precisely and simultaneously duplicates the exact field of vision, zoom distance, depth of field, and all other optical properties of every video camera ever manufactured!)
  • Here's what should have happened to Flight 93, complete with highly detailed, technical drawings.

Recently I have been watching some of the 9/11 conspiracy documentaries that are available around the Net. (I plan on posting something more detailed about these in the future.) I've long considered conspiracy theory a great source of amusement and entertainment, but frankly, the cynicism of these particular offerings sickens me. It's nice to know that there are still members of the moonbaticus barcus species that I can laugh at.