Why kids are fat

The latest innovation from the public edumukashun geniuses:

Concerned about safety and injuries and worried about bullying, violence, self-esteem and lawsuits, school officials have clamped down on the traditional games from years past.

Gone from many blacktops are tag, dodgeball and any game involving bodily contact. In are organized relay races and adult-supervised activities.

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Tag and dodgeball are fun. I am speaking as one who, not being particularly athletic, spent a lot of time being It and has a permanent kickball imprint on the back of his head.

"Adult-supervised" relay races, on the other hand, suck. "Playday" was punishment for not being good enough to participate in the track and field meet. When I reached grade 7, I started volunteering to be a timekeeper at the track just so I wouldn't have to lead a Playday team.

A few years from now, recess will involve bouncing a ball in unison, like those kids in A Wrinkle in Time. Assuming no one hits their foot with the ball, resulting in self-esteem issues and a lawsuit.