September 26, 2005

Don Adams, 1923-2005

Well, there goes another bit of my childhood. Don Adams, best known as Agent Maxwell Smart on the classic comedy Get Smart, died yesterday of a lung infection at the age of 83. He missed the ripe old age of 86 by that much.

Ironically, my favourite zinger from the program was one in which KAOS had captured Smart and a KAOS agent tells Smart, "Look, I'm a sportsman. I'll let you choose the way you want to die." Smart replies, "All right. How about old age?"

I saw a few episodes of Get Smart as a child and thought it was a hoot, but it was later, in my teens and early 20s, when I had become a fan of the spy genre (particularly James Bond) that I really began to get the satire. Austin Powers has his moments, but Agent 86 was right in the thick of the spy craze on television and was satirizing something that was a current reality instead of a decade we look back on as incredibly silly. It is a crime that this fabulous comedy is not yet available on DVD.

My favourite character on the program was actually Smart's nemesis, Siegfried, the leader of KAOS. I still use his catchphrase, "Zis is KAOS, ve don't do zat here" (substituting appropriate locations and actions for "KAOS" and "zat") fairly regularly. Bernie Kopell is still with us. It looks like KAOS ultimately triumphed over Control. Sorry about that, chief.

September 25, 2005

How to score brownie points

Phil Johnson went above and beyond the normal yesterday when he left some very kind comments about my new blog design: not only the mere fact that he liked it, but why.

But Phil really figured out how to score, um, scores of CrustyTM brand brownie points by being the first person to figure out what this is meant to represent:

Stylized Crusty logo

When someone is looking over my shoulder while I work on the site, or surfing it with me looking over their shoulder, invariably the question is asked: "What's with all those rectangles"? Phil caught on right away: they represent my initials, SM.

Until a few years ago, the pulp and paper mill in my hometown was owned by E. B. Eddy Forest Products Ltd. (Now it's owned by Domtar Inc. and is part of the less-interestingly-named "Specialty Papers Division.") One of the first things you would see driving across the bridge into town was the mill with its huge "E" logo, made up of white rectangles on a forest green circle. About five years ago when I wanted to design a personal logo for myself for online use, I patterned it after the same style of lettering.

Phil also correctly notes that the graphic was inspired by the Chrysler winged badge, which is itself an Art Deco design which Chrysler used on its vehicles at its inception in 1924, and revived in 1994 after thirty years of the ubiquitous "pentastar." Chrysler has always been associated with Deco, most notably the Chrysler Building in New York and the streamlined Airflow (of which the PT Cruiser is a modern interpretation). Many of Chrysler's newest body designs hearken back to the Age of Jazz.

(Incidentally, I gave the badge a shot of photorealism by reflecting a photograph into the "chrome" when I rendered it. Ten Bonus PointsTM to the first person to correctly identify what the image is of!)

By the way, Phil's latest comic-book cover is a scream. "True-Life Tales from the Pomo-Drivel Church®." Heh heh.

September 23, 2005

Stupid Microsloth redux

One of the things I dearly loathe about redesigning a Web site is the fact that certain mainstream browsers just seem to be way behind the curve when it comes to implementing established standards. This is the second time where I wanted to make an improvement to the look and feel of this blog only to find out I had to overcome a limitation imposed by second-rate Microsoftware. The first was my attempt to excerpt longer articles on my main page.

There comes a point where as a Web designer I have to choose between a compromise layout that doesn't look as good as I would like on anyone's browser, and a standards-compliant layout that I like, which others can also enjoy if they will just take the time to upgrade their software to something current. This is the point where I finally go the latter route.

Some of this site's graphics are in the Portable Network Graphics (PNG) format. The most significant advantage of the PNG format is its support for 256 levels of "alpha channel" transparency: in other words, any given pixel can be completely opaque, completely transparent, or anywhere in between.

This ability solves a Web design conundrum: how do you create a partially transparent bitmap object of irregular shape that doesn't have a "halo" of jagged edges when you display it on top of a contrasting background? The solution is to anti-alias the edges of the object so that the background shows through a little bit. Then the object looks just fine no matter what's underneath it, whether light, dark, or variegated. For example:

Two blue globes on white background

Two blue globes on black background

Two blue globes on bitmap background

But right about now, about 80% of you are screaming "Lies! False advertising!" You have no clue what I'm talking about, because all you saw was three copies of two blue globes on a black background. The reason is a lack of functionality in Internet Explorer for Windows, the world's most popular Web browser. I understand that the Macintosh version supports PNG transparency just fine; it seems Bill Gates doesn't think his Windows customers deserve the same treatment. Of course, Internet Exploder hasn't been significantly upgraded in something like two years, though version 7, which is currently vaporware, is supposed to support full PNG alpha transparency. We can only hope.

I decided a year ago that the advantages of the PNG format outweighed the inconvenience caused to IE users. Up until now, you have had to contend with ugly white rectangles around my bullets. However, when redesigning the graphics for the blog last week, I learned something I didn't know before: that when you save a PNG in the Gimp (as well as, I presume, any comparable application such as Photoshop or Paint Shop Pro), whatever background colour you happen to be using, becomes the background colour of the image. So it is possible to create a PNG that is at least colour-coordinated if alpha transparency isn't supported by the browser.

But I still can't please everyone, because I use the same bullet on two different backgrounds, and it would defeat the purpose of even having alpha transparency to make two versions of it. The moral of the story: Ditch Internet Exploder and look into Firefox: secure, standards-compliant, and kept up-to-date. What more could anyone ask?

Friday in the wild: September 23, 2005

Since I was pretty busy with redesigning the site, I didn't have all that much chance to do my usual blog run and roundup. So this week's installment of Friday in the Wild is a bit abbreviated.

The one post I do want to highlight, however, was's take on The Servetus Problem in which he presents the truth about the execution of the heretic Michael Servetus in Geneva during the time of John Calvin.

However, what the blogosphere lacked in interesting posts this week (due to no one's fault but my own), it made up for in search engine insanity:

Until next week: Enjoy.

September 22, 2005

And now . . . this - Sept. 22/05

Reason #86,207 to nuke the Dutch

A television presenter on a new Dutch talk show plans to take heroin and other illegal drugs on air in a program intended to reach young audiences on topics that touch their lives, producers said Wednesday.

The show, scheduled to premier on late-night television Oct. 10, is called "Spuiten & Slikken," or the "Shoot Up and Swallow" show. . . .

Justice Ministry spokesman Ivo Hommes said it was not immediately clear whether Wesselink could be prosecuted. Possession of any amount of heroin is illegal, but in practice police usually do not have resources to chase after people with less than a half a gram of the highly addictive narcotic.

[Full Story]

"Chase after him"? Why would they have to chase after him? He's on TV. Try the studio first. (Duh.)

Yet more nudist follies

One lap of Loch Ness was barely tolerable, but two more proved too much Saturday for a group of nude swimmers who surrendered to bad weather.

The four men and two women, taking turns of an hour each, began their charity stunt Friday night and completed their first 23-mile lap Saturday morning. And that was all, as temperatures sank and winds rose.

[Full Story]

Plus, there was the ever-present danger of a monster-related chomping.

Life imitates Hitchcock

A Frenchman in his sixties lived for five years with the body of his dead mother to keep receiving her 700 euros monthly pension, judicial sources said Saturday.

The man, a hospital morgue worker, is to be prosecuted for fraud and concealing a death Saturday after police found the corpse in a two-room apartment in the city center in piles of rubbish.

[Full Story]

Police are also attempting to determine the identity of the dead woman found in the shower and the private detective at the foot of the stairs.

[Full Story]

The secret revealed. Yawn.

A little over a week ago, I posted about a cryptic poster campaign on the campus of the University of Waterloo, my alma mater, in which posters with oddball text such as "2,7733 People" were plastered all over campus. At the time, I speculated that it had the earmarks of yet another Campus Crusade thingummy.

However, today's Daily Bulletin reveals the truth:

A "diversity" campaign is to be launched on campus Tuesday, organizers are announcing.

Sponsored by the Federation of Students and UW's student life office, the campaign -- first mentioned publicly last winter -- is intended "to promote a campus environment where differences are openly explored, celebrated and understood".

It's a little anticlimactic, n'est-ce pas? "Celebrate diversity" is arguably the most banal slogan ever heard over the last, say, 20 years or so. Certainly it wasn't worth all the anticipation.

When I arrived in Waterloo in 1989, I had grown up in a smallish town in northern Ontario, probably the most homogeneous society I have ever lived in, but at the time it was pretty much all I knew apart from what I saw on television. Talk about culture shock: I was thrust literally overnight into an environment where you could identify three different languages being spoken within earshot at the breakfast table. And as I started meeting and becoming friends with classmates, it wasn't long before my regular "study gang" included Chinese, Sri Lankan, and others who obviously were not very close relatives.

Diversity awareness? Heck - by this point in my first year, I was experiencing diversity overwhelming. If someone had launched a diversity campaign back in 1989, I would have thought it made about as much sense as a gravity campaign.

The official campaign Web site, incidentally, is here, although at this point it appears to be in a slight state of undress.

September 21, 2005

Yeah! About time someone said it!

Some people apparently didn't get the memo about how to handle the press. Thus they take no crap, not realizing that reporters have tender feelings easily hurt.

During a New Orleans press conference yesterday concerning evacuation plans for Hurricane Rita, General Russel Honoré, currently commanding Joint Task Force Katrina, proved again why Mayor Ray Nagin has nicknamed him a "John Wayne dude" who can "get some stuff done." He accused reporters still grousing about the mistakes made during the Katrina disaster of being "stuck on stupid" for focusing on the mistakes of the past instead of the problem of the present.

Predictably, immediately after General Honoré had announced that buses would be available for evacuation at the Convention Center, a reporter asked why that hadn't happened the last time. "You are stuck on stupid," Honoré replied. "I'm not going to answer that question. We are going to deal with Rita."

Perhaps we should thank this anonymous male reporter for opening the door and allowing a much-needed infusion of common sense. But instead, I think I'll give him the dubious honour of being today's DIM BULB du jour for not taking the hint, and getting "stuck on stupid" right after being told not to. By extension this prize is awarded to employees of the press everywhere who have a blind spot where useful, constructive criticism is concerned.

Meanwhile, "don't get stuck on stupid" is destined to be come a catchphrase.

H/T to Little Green Footballs; The Political Teen, who has the video; and Radio Blogger who posted an extended MP3 and transcript of General Honoré's remarks.

We need more people in the world who didn't get the memo.

September 20, 2005

Ahem . . .

Apropos to my announcement of my second blogiversary . . . never mind.

I don't know how I got it in my head that today was it. Turns out I'm over two weeks too late for my own anniversary, which was really September 4. [cough]

Ah well. As out to lunch as I was, I at least met my deadline according to plan. 8-)

Happy blogiversary to me

Today is the Crusty Curmudgeon's second anniversary.

As always, my anniversary present to the blog is a complete makeover. I have been fascinated for a few years now with the Art Deco period of design, and so I thought I'd do a more radical rewrite than I have previously, and try and do something in the spirit of Art Deco.

Art Deco is the design period most strongly associated with the late 1920s and 1930s. Typically it features geometric forms and bold colours. The period was influenced by a number of sources, including primitive art, Cubism, Futurism, and jazz.

I have made use of a number of Art Deco typefaces in this new design. The orange text in the banner is Futura; headers are in Gill Sans and body text is in Palatino, if you have those typefaces installed. (I admit I'm pushing the Deco motif a little bit with Palatino.)

In my opinion, the Deco period represented the pinnacle of commercial graphic arts. The posters of A. M. Cassandre, for example, are practically works of art in their own right. In fact, it is Cassandre's railway and steamship line advertisements that are the main inspiration for the new header banner.

Later Art Deco is also called "Streamline" or "Moderne," because it was influenced by the streamlining techniques that came into vogue during the 1930s. This is the age of the Chrysler Airflow, the SS Normandie, and the streamliner. The streamlined look was so popular that even household items such as chairs and radios were designed in the same fashion (because we all know how important it is for your radio to have a nice low drag coefficient). The banner graphic features a shrouded steam locomotive based on the Commodore Vanderbilt of the New York Central Railroad, the first of its kind.

The site redesign is basically done, though I'm sure there were a few details that I missed. No doubt some tweaks, both aesthetic or technical, will occur here and there over the next little while. If you see something broken, please let me know.

September 19, 2005

Avast, me hearties!

Ahoy! It be that time of year again.

Aye, it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. So get in the spirit of the day, or I'll keelhaul ye!

September 16, 2005

And now . . . this - Sept. 16/05

Now, come on!

Ice creams are being withdrawn from Burger King - because a design on the lid looks like the word Allah.

[Full Story]

Here's the sacrilegious dessert treat:

[Ice cream lid that looks like "Allah"]

To borrow a turn of phrase from the great Douglas Adams: "Unfortunately, in the Arabic tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible jihad for centuries."

But seriously. How backwards do you have to be to think that a picture of some whipped ice cream turned on its side is a blasphemy against your god? (Just don't get me started on the "666" fearmongers.) Worse, how spineless do you have to be to cave in to this crap?

Unclear on the concept

A Japanese woman called in the police after a hitman she paid to kill her lover's wife failed to carry out the job.

The 32-year-old Tokyo woman was arrested on Wednesday for incitement to murder, the Daily Yomiuri newspaper said on Friday.

[Full Story]

This kind of idiocy happens more than you think. As a high-school law student, we made a field trip to the municipal court in Sudbury one day in 1987, where the first case we heard was a charge of fraud against a drug dealer who took a sucker's money then didn't give him the drugs he wanted. The judge rightly threw the charge out, but apparently criminals aren't getting any wiser to the fact that the police won't help them commit their crimes.


An Australian man built up a 40,000-volt charge of static electricity in his clothes as he walked, leaving a trail of scorched carpet and molten plastic and forcing firefighters to evacuate a building.

Frank Clewer, who was wearing a woollen shirt and a synthetic nylon jacket, was oblivious to the growing electrical current that was building up as his clothes rubbed together. . . .

"We tested his clothes with a static electricity field metre and measured a current of 40,000 volts, which is one step shy of spontaneous combustion, where his clothes would have self-ignited," Barton said.

[Full Story]

This is probably how Spider-man's enemy Electro got his start.

Friday in the wild: September 16, 2005


It's a couple of weeks old, but I've finally caught up on some of my backlog of blog reading, and since I'm such a fan of Lewis' science fiction I'm exercising my personal prerogative. Mr. Dawn Treader has started reading C. S. Lewis' Out of the Silent Planet to his kids.

Science fiction fans who are sticklers for "realistic" science fiction may not like the book. The book was published in 1938. Lewis has to use his mind's eye to see what space travel will be like. For us, who live in the age of space shuttles and Mars rovers, it sounds antiquated. We know Mars is a cold, dry planet. We know that you can't breathe on Mars. We know a little of what space travel is like because astronauts have been to the moon and back. What existed solely in the realm of imagination in 1938 has become somewhat more familiar in 2005.

In a strange way, however, that is what makes it kind of fun to read.

[Read Touch Down On Malacandra]

I agree. Here is my own review of Out of the Silent Planet. I hope to follow up by rereading and blogging the second book of the trilogy by the end of the year.

The weird-O's at Fide-O do a post that part discusses what Christian music is, and part decries its present state:

Amazingly, the day I realized that I was no longer "hip" (if that is even the correct word) is the day I asked some of our youth at church this question, "What is Christian Music?" I received a litany of answers and realized quickly that the thought had never really crossed their minds. I have recently discovered that, according to the parents of our youth, if the music is moral and sung by people who claim to be Christian, then it falls into the "Christian Music" category. Using this logic, I concluded that Bonnie Raitt's "A Thing Called Love" is a Christian song. On the flip side, "How Great Thou Art" is not a Christian song because drug addict Elvis won a Grammy for it. (no offense to Elvis fans)

[Read What Is Christian Music]

Julie Staples fisks a popular argument for Roman Catholicism that an acquaintance forwarded to her:

A phenomenon of the Catholic Church today is that we seem to find among dissidents (here I mean dissident priests) a prior problem, usually with sexuality. It often turns out that when a priest has a history of opposing the Church's teaching, usually a teaching on morality such as contraception, he is already living a life of immorality himself.

Herein lies problem number one, a logical fallacy we like to call ad hominem. Plainly put, it's when we attack a man, personally, and his character rather than interacting with his thoughts on a subject. It's an attempt to disqualify everything said by the person because "he's not a nice guy."

Be it Luther or one of those dissident priests, if they have a problem with the Catholic church for whatever reason, the reason has to be addressed regardless of the behavior. Even the most errant people deserve an explanation into how they are wrong, otherwise how do we know they are errant?

[Read And Now for Something Completely Different]

And now for something else completely different: Julie has to build a bird feeder for the stork. Congrats!

Finally, a couple of weeks ago I started reading a relatively new blog hosted by "Pecadillo." I Drank What? isn't particularly voluminious or profound, it's just oddly goofy fun. Plus, judging by the page art, he's got good taste in fountain pens, even if the Aurora Mare is hideously expensive. His most recent post gives a, um, flavour of the blog:

I was just enjoying a "fun-size" bag of Doritos Nacho Cheesier chips. "Fun-size" is the manufacturers' name for the smallest-size bag, although, I would think the largest size would be the most fun. Anyhoo, while I was contemplating what was printed on the bag, I noticed it also says, "Now better tasting!"


How, exactly, are they able to make such a claim? Who is qualified to tell me what I'll think tastes better? Isn't that the same as if a woman, after changing the way she does her hair, walks around with a sign that says, "Now more attractive"? Or a guy who, after seemingly bathing himself in cheap cologne, wears a shirt that declares, "Now better smelling"?

[Read "Now a better blog!"]

Again it was a relatively sane week on the Google front, with only one vaguely odd search query coming my way:

In other Google news, Google just launched their new blog search engine. While I'm still trying to figure out whether I can use it to track links (it does provide RSS feeds), I did notice that there appear to be three Crusty Curmudgeons out there: this one and also this one. By the way, in terms of longevity, I'm in the middle.


What if the CBC went on strike and no one noticed?

Whaaaaaa? You mean it's already happening? You say it's been a month, already? No!

Here is the specific benefit that I, the Crusty Canadian Taxpayer, receive from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation:

  • The Simpsons daily at 5
  • Doctor Who weekly on Sunday night

I notice that these specific benefits have not been affected by the current lockout. In addition, the lack of original CBC programming means there is more time for blockbuster movies aired in prime time.

If this is what the CBC is like when there's a labour dispute on, the union can go pound sand.

Speaking of which, maybe the Prime Minister and Governor-General designate should raise the subject of sand-pounding. Michaëlle Jean (a former CBC reporter) has hinted that if the Communications Media Group were to picket her own swearing-in ceremony, she wouldn't cross the picket line. Paul Martin has also said that he does not cross picket lines.

Apparently, the CBC now runs the country, and other concerns (such as the Constitution) are merely secondary.

September 15, 2005

Rick Warren's weird inconsistency

Two unrelated blog posts today underscore what I think is an odd quirk in the personal theology of Rick Warren.

First, the Calvinist Gadfly posts an excerpt from the transcript of Warren's September 7 appearance on Good Morning America, in which Warren takes the "Tony Campolo" route in discussing Hurricane Katrina:

[Robin] Roberts: Rick Warren is the best-selling author of "The Purpose-Driven Life." . . . I ran across a woman who came up to me and she said, Robin, it's, it's as if God tried to wipe us off the face of the earth. You know there are some people that look and see this destruction and, and say, where, where is whatever it is, or whomever they, they, they look to . . . for guidance in a higher way?

Warren: Right. Well, first thing we need to understand that not everything that happens in this world is God's will. I have a will, you have a will, we have a free will . . . And so, we have a lot of things that go bad . . . But what God wants to do is he wants to comfort us. Somebody asked me when I was actually on the floor of the, the, the Houston Astrodome talking to people and praying with people, said, where is God in all of this? And I'll tell you where God is, he's in thousands of lives of people who love him and follow him, and they are the hands and feet of God. . . .

[Full Text, emphasis added]

Meanwhile, on, Tim posts on the continuing saga of Greg Stielstra's book PyroMarketing. To counter rumours that the publication of this book had been suppressed, Warren recently issued a letter to the trade publication Christian Retailing. He says, in part:

I was serving in Africa, in the middle of a 35 day road trip with no opportunity to respond, when "Publisher's Weekly" mistakenly reported that I oppose the publication of a book by Greg Stielstra. That is flatly untrue.

My only concern was that no one, neither Zondervan Publishing nor myself, claim credit for the astounding success of "The Purpose Driven Life" (PDL) book. The worldwide spread of the purpose driven message had nothing to do with marketing or merchandizing. Instead it was the result of God's supernatural and sovereign plan, which no one anticipated.

[Full Story, emphasis added]

If you're keeping score: The runaway commercial success of Warren's book was the direct result of God's will, but the death of hundreds and the destruction of an historic city by the most devastating storm in American history wasn't God's will. Decide for yourself whether this is simply inconsistency or egotism.

Razor Wars: more dangerous than the Cola Wars

The safety razor industry appears to be the latest battleground of the marketers looking to one-up the competition with dubious improvements. Not to be outdone by rival Schick and their four-bladed razor, Gillette upped the ante yesterday when they announced the Fusion, the world's first five-bladed razor.


If this keeps up, shaving is going to consist of rubbing a razor-sharp cheese grater on your face. Does the word overkill appear in the marketroids' dictionary?

The Fusion cartridge also includes a single blade (for a grand total of six!) for trimming facial hair. Apparently Gillette thinks that all of us who have gone out and spent money on decent electric trimmers are going to throw them over in favour of a $10 disposable.

For my part, I have resisted the temptation to upgrade the Gillette Atra that I have been using since my first year of university. Two blades did the trick in 1990. In fact, when my parents mistakenly gave me a package of Mach3 cartridges this Christmas as a stocking stuffer, I traded them with my dad for a package of ancient Atra cartridges - two blades and no lubricating strip thingy. Guess what? They still work. Besides, 24 hours from now when my beard has grown out again, no one is going to be able to tell how many blades my razor has.

Robert Wise (1914-2005)

Hollywood has again lost one of its brighter lights: Academy Award-winning director Robert Wise died yesterday of heart failure, at the ripe old age of 91.

Wise brought two classic musicals to the silver screen: West Side Story in 1961, and The Sound of Music in 1965. Both films won both the Best Director and Best Picture Oscar in their respective years.

However, Wise was not limited to bringing stage musicals to film. He was capable of working within any genre, notably directing three classic science-fiction films: 1951's The Day the Earth Stood Still, 1971's The Andromeda Strain (arguably the best movie made from a Michael Crichton novel), and 1979's Star Trek: The Motion Picture, which propelled the Trek franchise into more and greater success than it had had in its original run.

One further interesting point of trivia: Wise was the editor for Citizen Kane and the last surviving crewmember of that movie.

September 14, 2005

Mystery ad campaign

The Student Life Centre blog over in Waterloo notes a cryptic ad campaign going on at UW this week:

Throughout bulletin boards across campus, there has been a series of posters with ambiguous statements such as "27733 People" printed in large white Arial text.

In what SLC perceives to be a related poster, there are several other ads in a series that show an image of a typical student (possibly from UW) followed by text beneath it, saying:

How would you label this picture? A _______________.

[Full Text]

I'm willing to hazard a guess that it's this year's Campus Crusade campaign, perhaps the followup to "Do You Agree With Byron [or whatever student lent his name to your particular campus]?" (This campaign threw UW's atheists into a tailspin last fall because they were afraid that chalk drawings on the sidewalk [cleverly, albeit inaccurately, called "vandalism" by the atheist crowd] would cause their eyes to burn out of their head, or were the first step toward establishing a theocratic dictatorship, or something.) Any other takers?

And now . . . this - Sept. 14/05

High-octane catsoline?

This story definitely gets the award for Most Surreal Odd News of the Year (So Far):

A German inventor said he has developed a method to produce crude oil products from waste that he believes can be an answer to the soaring costs of fuel, but denied a German newspaper story implying he also used dead cats. . . .

"It's an alternative fuel that is friendly for the environment. But it's complete nonsense to suggest dead cats. I've never used cats and would never think of that. At most the odd toad may have jumped in."

Bild Tuesday wrote a headline: "German inventor can turn cats into fuel - for a tank he needs 20 cats." The paper on Wednesday followed up with a story entitled: "Can you really make fuel out of cats?"

A spokesman for Bild told Reuters the story was meant to show that cat remains could "in theory" be used to make fuel with Koch's patented method.

[Full Story]

On the other hand, using cats as an energy source would probably provide financial security for a whole lot of crazy old women.

September 13, 2005


If you follow the Ottawa City News link link from the previous post, you will also learn that the City of Ottawa guaranteed a $50,000 bank loan to Pride Ottawa to hold this year's Gay Pride parade. The committee, already thousands in debt, defaulted on the loan, leaving the city high and dry.

Explain to me, please, why public funds are paying for this stuff. Doesn't the local "gay community" have enough "pride" to pay for their own damn parade?

Apropos to a graffito

Yesterday, I made a few offhand comments about the dirty image that the proliferation of graffiti gives downtown Ottawa.

Today, I learned that the city is actually sponsoring a graffiti workshop for teens in October. According to the official city Fall 2005/Winter 2006 Arts course calendar (PDF):

Workshop - BIG ART

Think the suburbs are lifeless and boring? Speak up, express yourself! Graf Artists Stephan and Pat Thompson will be holding workshops in Graffiti, Big Art & Sculpture. Only you have what it takes to re-paint your world.

Ironically, the city of Ottawa acknowledges the reality of "broken window syndrome" - that if you allow broken windows, graffiti, and other signs of decay to stand, then you leave the impression that the community does not care. This, in turn, encourages more and greater acts of vandalism. Then the city schizophrenically sponsors classes in improving graffiti skills.

There are legitimate, sanctioned graffiti sites in Ottawa, such as the Tech Wall and the various skateboard parks. I don't object to these. But how many of these kids are going to limit themselves to doing pieces on the Tech Wall? I expect the quality of the vandalism outside my church to rise accordingly.

(H/T: Ottawa City News via Small Dead Animals)

September 12, 2005

Vandalizing the vandals

Downtown Ottawa is has kind of a grungy look about it: primarily, I think, because of all the graffiti. There's barely a flat surface that hasn't been defaced; even the doors of my church haven't escaped.

Most of the downtown graffiti is just the usual tagging done by non-creative garbage marking their territory. There are, here and there, a few wall-to-walls whose artists put some time and effort into them, such as the one at the high school between Slater and Laurier at Bronson. And, not infrequently, you come across newspaper boxes and billboards scrawled with the sort of simplistic political macros favoured by urban anarchists whose opinions are spoon-fed to them by hippie types that once saw a Noam Chomsky book in a bookstore window: "THE TRUTH IS THE FIRST CASUALTY OF WAR," and other such original thinking.

It was an example of the last that I came across tonight while waiting at the bus stop. Next to the shelter is a row of newspaper boxes, seven total, upon which someone had spray-painted the following public service announcement, one character per box, in purple:

W R O N G ! !

One of the boxes so defaced contained freebies like Renters News and Employment Weekly. It's hard to understand what our graffiti artist found so objectionable about their reporting. In any case, at some point there had been someone at the stop with some superfluous muscle, a few minutes to wait, and a difference of opinion. The boxes have been manhandled into a different order, so that the graffito now reads:

G R O W N ! !

Admittedly, it wasn't much of a message, but when you consider that there are only so many anagrams for a five-letter word, it wasn't bad.

Cheap laugh of the day

"Wilhelm" sure gets around, and he spends an awful lot of time in excruciating pain.

See what I mean? (MOV, 48 MB)

". . . yet I will hope in the Lord . . ."

Despite having no building left to speak of after Katrina, Don Elbourne and his congregation had church yesterday anyway:

I said we would meet on the church slab, but to be accurate the building did not have a slab. It sat on concrete blocks and a few years ago we pumped concrete underneath to solve an erosion problem. We met on that rough piece of cement with the rubble of our buildings all around us. We found the pulpit across the road in the woods. We drug it out and set it up on blocks and plywood left from the building for a makeshift platform. We rummaged through the debris and found a dozen or so metal folding chairs and a couple of broken pews. We set the pews on concrete blocks and cleaned them off as much as we could. My brother built a cross from the broken beams that used to support the church building and set it up behind the pulpit. The cross of Christ will continue to support us as we rebuild and move forward as a community of faith to the glory of God.

We sang Amazing Grace and I preached from Habakkuk 3:17-19 and John 14:1-6. Habakkuk walked in our shoes as he saw no fruit on the trees, no oil in the press, no flocks or heard in the stalls, but still trusted that God reigns in the heavens. We do not root our strength in the muddy soft ground of cars, and buildings, and land, but in the solid firmness of God�s hand of providence.

Read the whole thing.

Incidentally, amidst all the rest of the rubble, I think Lakeshore Baptist got their money's worth out of that steeple. As I recall, it was installed about three years ago, and it looks like it survived the storm more or less unscathed!

September 09, 2005

One more from the wild

This just in . . .

Congratulations to Rebecca J. Anderson on the birth of her new son, Paul Nathan, yesterday morning.

Carry on.

Friday in the wild - September 9, 2005

Say, what time is it, kids? It's "Friday in the Wild" time! Here is my weekly roundup of the interesting bits of the blogosphere that I came across.

Ten years ago, Tony Campolo was an evangelical "leader" whom, even if I disagreed with him on a few minor matters, I considered a worthwhile authority, because he wasn't afraid to say some things I thought needed to be said. I don't know whether I've changed my views since then, or he's just stopped saying those things. Either way, ten years later I can no longer recommend Campolo as worthwhile for anything, except perhaps as an example of how far evangelicalism has fallen if it still listens to him. Tim Challies gives one good reason:

Theology can often seem abstract and uninteresting. You may remember the article I posted a couple of months ago in which I discussed the doctrine of Open Theism. I said "What began on the fringes of scholarship has quickly gained a popular following, in part because of the publication of entry-level titles such as Gregory Boyd's God of the Possible and in part because of the acceptance of the doctrine by various popular authors." The first point I made about Open Theism is "God's greatest attribute is love. God's love so overshadows His other characteristics that He could never allow or condone evil or suffering to befall mankind."

[Read Open Theism in Action]

The PyroManiac has started a series taking on Robert Millet, the Mormon apologist and author, and his attempts to peddle Mormonism as mainstream Christianity:

Even though I missed the initial buzz about Millet's book, I still want to weigh in on a certain aspect of this controversy that has annoyed me for some six or seven years. I'm talking about way Dr. Millet and his fans (both Mormons and post-evangelicals) continually invoke my pastor's name as if he were friendly to their cause.

He's not.

This is neither mine nor John MacArthur's first attempt to set the record straight. (I'll be posting some past correspondence on the issue in the next few days.) John MacArthur has repeatedly attempted to make his position absolutely clear: He does not regard Mormonism as legitimate Christianity - not even close. But you might get the opposite impression from some of Millet's publicity, and especially from his Internet groupies' postings.

[Read Peddling Mormonism as Mainstream Christianity]

It so happens that before the A.V. 1611 Answers Association (by the way, isn't that splash graphic just really freaky?) had its own Web site, it was a Blogspot blog. I was one of Jeffrey Nachimson's first blogroll links, in fact. Unfortunately, I appear to be an official "Alexandrian Apostate" no longer (although the proof remains in Google's cache), but Fred Butler of Hip and Thigh is. He takes on Nachimson's missives against his own view on Bible translation:

I primarily wanted to point out with my first entry in response to Mr. Jeffrey, the main tactic of meaningless ad hominem utilized by KJV onlyists. Woven through their publications defending KJV onlyism is a thread of personal animosity towards any person who would dare to either question, or heaven forbid, change the translation of the King James Bible. This animosity reveals itself as a Tourette's syndrome like flurry of ridicule and scornful heckling designed to belittle and discredit the non-KJV individual as a critic of KJV onlyism, while at the same time providing the KJV defender with an appearance of true, righteous zeal for God's Word. It is my contention that this type of mockery is only characteristic of a lack of genuine spirituality on the part of a good number of KJV only defenders, as well as a clear indication of the serious deficiency in their overall apologetic for KJV onlyism.

With this entry, I wanted to move onto addressing some specific charges leveled by Mr. Jeffrey against my convictions and understanding of God's Word, the Holy Bible. I liken Mr. Jeffrey's arguments to an old fashioned zeppelin filled with volatile gas, so that when the sparks of truth and fact come into contact with them, they ignite in a flash, causing his entire KJV only ballon to come crashing and burning to the ground.

[Read A Ride on the Hindenburg: KJV Only Arguments Crashing and Burning]

There was but one interesting search query this week that brought Googlers to my humble site:

  • zeppelin slash fanfiction: Oh heck no. I don't even want to think of Led Zeppelin unclothed, if I can help it. (Coincidentally, Robert Plant is playing here in Ottawa tomorrow night, and naturally, I can't go.)

That's all! Until next week, enjoy.

September 07, 2005

Life imitates Leacock

Over the past few days, I have been reading the first installment in my September reading project: Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town, by the renowned Canadian humorist Stephen Leacock.

On Monday, this news photo was released, of Sean Penn's "rescue" effort in New Orleans:

[Sean Penn bails out his boat]

The situation is that Penn, wanting to do something to help people still stranded in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, took a little boat (along with his photographer and an entourage, of course) into the city. Unfortunately, he forgot to plug a hole in the boat, and it started to sink, making it necessary to bail with a goofy plastic cup - and ultimately to row when the motor failed to start. Oops.

It so happens, coincidentally, that the same day I read this, I had just finished reading the third chapter of Sunshine Sketches, "The Marine Excursions of the Knights of Pythias." Basic story: Half the town of Mariposa, the setting of Leacock's stories, is on an excursion around the lake on an old steamship, which starts taking on water and sinking until it is grounded on the bottom of the shallow lake. Many of the town's residents mount a heroic rescue effort, but in inadequate and leaky vessels, making it necessary for the rescuers to be rescued by the stranded excursioners when they reach the steamship.

So reading of Penn's misfortune, of course I laughed and laughed and laughed. Good humour is never better appreciated than against a backdrop of reality - or, as Homer Simpson says, "It's funny 'cause it's true."

So long, little buddy (Bob Denver, 1935-2005)

I guess the ghost of the Skipper took his cap and swatted him out of this world. Bob Denver, the titular character of the classic cornball sitcom Gilligan's Island, died last Friday at the age of 70.

Critics branded Gilligan's Island as one of the stupidest TV shows ever. But for those of us who grew up in the 70s and early 80s watching countless after-school reruns, that didn't matter. Frankly, the TV could use a little more of that kind of stupidity, and a lot less of the Jackass kind. They don't make 'em like they used to. And they don't make leading actors like they used to, either. Gilligan is an icon. Who's going to care about Ashton Kutcher 40 years from now?

While many serious actors would want to distance themselves later in life from such a lowbrow character as Gilligan - and Denver was a serious actor despite his decidedly non-serious résumé - he embraced the lovable goof's notoriety, and even adopted Gilligan's trademark white hat as his own trademark.

By the way, for those of you keeping track, the four principal cast members in the Gilligan's Island ensemble are now gone: Jim Backus (Thurston Howell III) died in 1989, followed by Alan Hale, Jr. (the Skipper) in 1990, then Natalie Schafer (Mrs. Howell) in 1991. Tina Louise (Ginger) is still with us, and so are "the rest" - Russell Johnson (the Professor) and Dawn Wells (Mary Ann).

September 02, 2005

Friday in the wild - September 2, 2005

Welcome to a Katrina-free installation of Friday in the Wild. It's hard to believe that anything else has gone on in the blogosphere, especially since Tuesday, and there have been some excellent words written about the disaster in New Orleans. I have written some myself that were less than excellent. Nonetheless, here's an opportunity to escape the crisis.

While responding to Richard Abanes, whom one blogger has coined Rick Warren's "excuseologist" for his tireless efforts at defending all things Purpose Driven®, Frank Turk aka centuri0n has provided an excellent apologetic for the proper administration of baptism as a side effect:

There is a huge gap between saying "I don't 'get it'" and saying "rebaptism is a problem." For example, I "don't get" why Baptists are juice-users and not wine-users in the Lord's Supper. There is no theological reason on earth for it that can pass the sniff test. BUT using juice does not denigrate the ordinance - not any more than sprinkling when a deep body of water is not available or practical denigrates the ordinance of baptism.

I "don't get" juice use - but I let it slide because it is nothing compared to remembering the Lord's death and the covenant He established as a community. The matter with rebaptism is not that I "don't get it": the matter is that it is changing the substance of the ordinance from initiation and identification to merely something else - and I will avoid choosing a word for what that is because apparently doing such a thing makes me a mean person.

[Read Abanes, abanetis, abaneti, etc.]

The following blog posts (and their ensuing comments) are very helpful background reading:

  1. 15 Things I Learned at Saddleback at Fide-O
  2. The followup, Saddleback Lessons Unabridged, also at Fide-O
  3. The controversy continues with 15 Things I Learned at Saddleback at

I am pleased to promote Steve Camp's blog, CampOnThis, to my blogroll, after he pulled off the daunting feat of impressing me for two weeks in a row. Actually he's been on a roll all week, but his post on Biblical worship struck a chord, since I am involved with a parachurch ministry where some of the same issues arise (and since I wrote the doctrinal statement, I sometimes get asked the tough questions):

A few years ago I was ministering in concert at a prominent Midwest Christian college. During the concert of about 2,500 people attending, a young man stood up in the middle of the auditorium and shouted to me, "Brother Steve, I have a word from the Lord for you." Taken a bit back by his rudeness, but impressed with his courage, I asked him politely, "OK, what Bible verse did you want to share with me?" He said, "Oh no, this is a word directly from God for you personally." I said back to him, "I know every verse is penned by the Lord - it is all directly from Him to us . . . So what Bible verse did you want to share with me?" Becoming more and more frustrated at his inability to "woo" me to his words of "divine revelation," I finally agreed to let him speak with one condition (and believe me, I was being generous in letting it go this far); I told him, "Everything you say must agree perfectly with God's final revelation in His Word. If anything you say, no matter how trivial, disagrees with Scripture, then I will have to rebuke you in front of all these people and then we will all have to take you outside and stone you to death!" With those ground rules stated, he thought for a moment and then said these profound words, "Maybe it was a feeling I had?" I said, "Good answer man - now sit down."

[Read Worship Wars]

Daniel Phillips of Biblical Christianity calls Pat Robertson one of the Church's "unpaid bills" for his reckless call for the assassination of Hugo Chavez:

And so here he is again. Pat Robertson has just caused inestimable headaches to the Bush administration with his latest loose-lip attack. Worse, he's given Christophobe editorialists and cartoonists days and days worth of fodder by which to make themselves feel better about not believing Christ. After all, Pat Robertson has never been roundly disowned as one of the most visible public faces of (here's the word again) "evangelical" Christianity. Now, yet again, he has given occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme (cf. 2 Samuel 12:14).

What will be the consequences to him? James 3:1ff. certainly warns us that teachers will rightly incur more severe judgment, because an uncontrolled tongue can case a world of hurt. What will Robertson suffer for this latest gaffe?

Nothing. . . .

[Read Pat Robertson: another unpaid bill]

This is cool: Brian Micklethwait at Samizdata reports on a 16-year-old Brit who has harnessed the power of his hamster to recharge his cellphone.

Finally, J. Mark Bertrand posts a quickie review of his New Cambridge Paragraph Bible, the latest "official" revision of the venerable Authorized Version:

The New Cambridge Paragraph Bible is the answer to one of my long-running prayers: a scholarly edition of the King James Version with updated spelling and punctuation, set in modern type with a single-column format. To add to the fun, editor David Norton painstakingly researched and restored the textual choices of the seventeenth-century translators, which makes the New Cambridge Paragraph Bible the most faithful edition in terms of "original intent." In a sense, Cambridge has delivered the best of both worlds.

[Read Beautiful, but (Very) Big]

My question: I wonder how the revisers decided how to break the paragraphs for most of the New Testament? After all, the original translators gave up placing paragraph marks (¶, properly called a pilcrow) after Acts 20:10.

No weird searches this week. I guess all the weirdos are fixated on CNN watching the news in NOLA unfold.

Until next time, enjoy.

September 01, 2005

Another music meme

And no, I'm not going to be tagging you this time, Rand!

Courtesy of Kelly at Paradoxes and Problems comes the following music meme:

  1. Go to
  2. Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year.
  3. Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorite. Do nothing to the ones you don't remember (or don't care about).

Well, my graduating year was 1989, so my list looks like this:

  1. Look Away, Chicago
  2. My Prerogative, Bobby Brown
  3. Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison
  4. Straight Up, Paula Abdul
  5. Miss You Much, Janet Jackson
  6. Cold Hearted, Paula Abdul
  7. Wind Beneath My Wings, Bette Midler
  8. Girl You Know Its True, Milli Vanilli
  9. Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird, Will To Power
  10. Giving You The Best That I Got, Anita Baker
  11. Right Here Waiting, Richard Marx
  12. Waiting For A Star To Fall, Boy Meets Girl
  13. Lost In Your Eyes, Debbie Gibson
  14. Don't Wanna Lose You, Gloria Estefan
  15. Heaven, Warrant
  16. Girl I'm Gonna Miss You, Milli Vanilli
  17. The Look, Roxette
  18. She Drives Me Crazy, Fine Young Cannibals
  19. On Our Own, Bobby Brown
  20. Two Hearts, Phil Collins
  21. Blame It On The Rain, Milli Vanilli
  22. Listen To Your Heart, Roxette
  23. I'll Be There For You, Bon Jovi
  24. If You Don't Know Me By Now, Simply Red
  25. Like A Prayer, Madonna
  26. I'll Be Loving You (Forever), New Kids On The Block
  27. How Can I Fall?, Breathe
  28. Baby Don't Forget My Number, Milli Vanilli
  29. Toy Solider, Martika
  30. Forever Your Girl, Paula Abdul
  31. The Living Years, Mike and the Mechanics
  32. Eternal Flame, The Bangles
  33. Wild Thing, Tone Loc
  34. When I See You Smile, Bad English
  35. If I Could Turn Back Time, Cher
  36. Buffalo Stance, Neneh Cherry
  37. When I'm With You, Sheriff
  38. Don't Rush Me, Taylor Dayne
  39. Born To Be My Baby, Bon Jovi
  40. Good Thing, Fine Young Cannibals
  41. The Lover In Me, Sheena Easton
  42. Bust A Move, Young M.C.
  43. Once Bitten, Twice Shy, Great White
  44. Batdance, Prince
  45. Rock On, Michael Damian
  46. Real Lov, Jody Watley
  47. Love Shack, B-52's
  48. Every Little Step, Bobby Brown
  49. Hangin' Tough, New Kids On The Block
  50. My Heart Can't Tell You No, Rod Stewart
  51. So Alive, Love and Rockets
  52. You Got It (The Right Stuff), New Kids On The Block
  53. Armageddon It, Def Leppard
  54. Satisfied, Richard Marx
  55. Express Yourself, Madonna
  56. I Like It, Dino
  57. Soldier Of Love, Donny Osmond
  58. Sowing The Seeds Of Love, Tears For Fears
  59. Cherish, Madonna
  60. When The Children Cry, White Lion
  61. 18 And Life, Skid Row
  62. I Don't Want Your Love, Duran Duran
  63. Second Chances, .38 Special
  64. The Way You Love Me, Karyn White
  65. Funky Cold Medina, Tone Loc
  66. In Your Room, Bangles
  67. Miss You Like Crazy, Natalie Cole
  68. Love Song, Cure
  69. Secret Rendesvous, Karyn White
  70. Angel Eyes, Jeff Healey Band
  71. Patience, Guns N' Roses
  72. Walk On Water, Eddie Money
  73. Cover Girl, New Kids On The Block
  74. Welcome To The Jungle, Guns N' Roses
  75. Shower Me With Your Love, Surface
  76. Stand, R.E.M.
  77. Close My Eyes Forever, Lita Ford
  78. All This Time, Tiffany
  79. After All, Cher and Peter Cetera
  80. Roni, Bobby Brown
  81. Love In An Elevator, Aerosmith
  82. Lay Your Hands On Me, Bon Jovi
  83. This Promise, When In Rome
  84. What I Am, Edie Brickell and The New Bohemians
  85. I Remember Holding You, Boys Club
  86. Paradise City, Guns N' Roses
  87. I wanna Have Some Fun, Samantha Fox
  88. She Wants To Dance With Me, Rick Astley
  89. Dreamin', Vanessa Williams
  90. It's No Crime, Babyface
  91. Poison, Alice Cooper
  92. This Time I Know It's For Real, Donna Summer
  93. Smooth Criminal, Michael Jackson
  94. Heaven Help Me, Deon Estus
  95. Rock Wit'cha, Bobby Brown
  96. Thinking Of You, Sa-fire
  97. What You Don't Know, Expose
  98. Surrender To Me, Ann Wilson and Robin Zander
  99. The End Of The Innocence, Don Henley
  100. Keep On Movin', Soul II Soul

And the moral of the story is . . . 1989 sucked, musically speaking, being the year of NKOTB and Milli Vanilli, amongst others.

I guess there's something to be said after all for coming from a hick town where we hadn't heard of half these songs and had to be content with good music.

(By the way, just for the sake of contrast, here is why I consider 1983 to be the best year in music: lots I like, some I'm indifferent to, nothing I couldn't stand):

  1. Every Breath You Take, Police
  2. Billie Jean, Michael Jackson
  3. Flashdance... What A Feelin, Irene Cara
  4. Down Under, Men At Work
  5. Beat It, Michael Jackson
  6. Total Eclipse Of The Heart, Bonnie Tyler
  7. Maneater, Daryl Hall and John Oates
  8. Baby Come To Me, Patti Austin and James Ingram
  9. Maniac, Michael Sembello
  10. Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This), Eurythmics
  11. Do You Really Want To Hurt Me, Culture Club
  12. You And I, Eddie Rabbitt and Crystal Gayle
  13. Come On Eileen, Dexy's Midnight Runners
  14. Shame On The Moon, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
  15. She Works Hard For The Money, Donna Summer
  16. Never Gonna Let You Go, Sergio Mendes
  17. Hungry Like The Wolf, Duran Duran
  18. Let's Dance, David Bowie
  19. Twilight Zone, Golden Earring
  20. I Know There's Something Going On, Frida
  21. Jeopardy, Greg Kihn Band
  22. Electric Avenue, Eddy Grant
  23. She Blinded Me With Science, Thomas Dolby
  24. Africa, Toto
  25. Little Red Corvette, Prince
  26. Back On The Chain Gang, Pretenders
  27. Up Where We Belong, Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes
  28. Mr. Roboto, Styx
  29. You Are, Lionel Richie
  30. Der Kommissar, After The Fire
  31. Puttin' On The Ritz, Taco
  32. Sexual Healing, Marvin Gaye
  33. (Keep Feeling) Fascination, Human League
  34. Time (Clock Of The Heart), Culture Club
  35. The Safety Dance, Men Without Hats
  36. Mickey, Toni Basil
  37. You Can't Hurry Love, Phil Collins
  38. Separate Ways, Journey
  39. One On One, Daryl Hall and John Oates
  40. We've Got Tonight, Kenny Rogers and Sheena Easton
  41. 1999, Prince
  42. Stray Cat Strut, Stray Cats
  43. Allentown, Billy Joel
  44. Stand Back, Stevie Nicks
  45. Tell Her About It, Billy Joel
  46. Always Something There To Remind Me, Naked Eyes
  47. Truly, Lionel Richie
  48. Dirty Laundry, Don Henley
  49. The Girl Is Mine, Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney
  50. Too Shy, Kajagoogoo
  51. Goody Two Shoes, Adam Ant
  52. Rock The Casbah, Clash
  53. Our House, Madness
  54. Overkill, Men At Work
  55. Is There Something I Should Know, Duran Duran
  56. Gloria, Laura Branigan
  57. Affair Of The Heart, Rick Springfield
  58. She's A Beauty, Tubes
  59. Solitaire, Laura Branigan
  60. Don't Let It End, Styx
  61. How Am I Supposed To Live Without You, Laura Branigan
  62. China Girl, David Bowie
  63. Come Dancing, Kinks
  64. Promises, Promises, Naked Eyes
  65. The Other Guy, Little River Band
  66. Making Love Out Of Nothing At All, Air Supply
  67. Family Man, Daryl Hall and John Oates
  68. Wanna Be Startin' Somethin', Michael Jackson
  69. I Won't Hold You Back, Toto
  70. All Right, Christopher Cross
  71. Straight From The Heart, Bryan Adams
  72. Heart To Heart, Kenny Loggins
  73. My Love, Lionel Richie
  74. I'm Still Standing, Elton John
  75. Hot Girls In Love, Loverboy
  76. It's A Mistake, Men At Work
  77. I'll Tumble 4 Ya, Culture Club
  78. All This Love, Debarge
  79. Your Love Is Driving Me Crazy, Sammy Hagar
  80. Heartbreaker, Dionne Warwick
  81. Faithfully, Journey
  82. Steppin' Out, Joe Jackson
  83. Take Me To Heart, Quarterflash
  84. (She's) Sexy + 17, Stray Cats
  85. Try Again, Champaign
  86. Dead Giveaway, Shalamar
  87. Lawyers In Love, Jackson Browne
  88. What About Me, Moving Pictures
  89. Human Nature, Michael Jackson
  90. Photograph, Def Leppard
  91. Pass The Dutchie, Musical Youth
  92. True, Spandau Ballet
  93. Far From Over, Frank Stallone
  94. I've Got A Rock 'N' Roll Heart, Eric Clapton
  95. It Might Be You, Stephen Bishop
  96. Tonight I Celebrate My Love, Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack
  97. You Got Lucky, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
  98. Don't Cry, Asia
  99. Breaking Us In Two, Joe Jackson
  100. Fall In Love With Me, Earth, Wind and Fire